EMTM is a two-year away-from-home experience. That unknown away-from-home place, in Kolding, Ljubljana, Girona and wherever EMTM takes you, becomes your new home. Sadly, this means also leaving people behind. Everyone who is reading this post right now has probably experienced this feeling in one way or the other. Tjasa, a Slovenian student, wrote a very personal piece on Erasmus Mundus and the meaning of friends. When I was first leaving my home country to join the EMTM circus, my group of friends was my life and meaning. We had the whole going-away-party extravaganza, with UNO tournament, presents and my awesome lasagna (I make a mean lasagna, by the way, just dropping that in). In the next few days, I was off to new adventures in Denmark – it wasn't my first time living abroad, but we weren't as close with the group as we were at the beginning of my EMTM. First days are a blur. About a hundred new faces, some will be your family for 2 years, some just for 4 months, some are just there to ease you in during the first days; all the bureacracy, welcome parties, never ending list of things you have to do. A week is gone before you can realize and I was writing to my team back home in Slovenia about all the crazyness that was my new life. I wrote about my new flat and posted pictures of the beautiful new campus, about my awesome new group of friends and class mates, hot Thai/German flat mate, an amazing guy I met on our first extended EMTM family party - who made my knees weak and gave me butterflies for the first time in years, about interesting lectures and mind blowing opinions my classmates shared ... All that inspired me and made me feel more alive than ever... Only to get maybe one response in the sense of »That's nice!« or a like on Facebook. I tried several times later, with no more success. Your life is turning upside down, your previous beliefs and views of the world are getting crushed to pieces and people, who you consider closest and who know you better than you know yourself cannot manage more of a reaction than clicking on »thumbs up« icon – if they're in the right mood. Sooner or later, you start feeling like you're being pushy and decide to stop »bothering them«.
After coming back home from a core-shaking first semester, we all met at our usual spot in an Irish pub and I was in for another shock: it was the first time I saw them in four months and the conversation went on as always about sports, television, other people – like I've never been gone, as if I only missed a few meetings because maybe they coincided with my lectures or something. In a way, everything was exactly like before leaving, but in a way it was also completely different. I have gone through so much and none of those I considered closest to me even bothered to see how I was or if I had a good time. When I tried to share a funny story anyway, it was accompanied with vacant expressions and triggered no reaction at all, like twelve faces trying to say: »We have no idea what/who you are talking about and we don't care. Please, stop.« Relationship and friendships that we left behind in our home countries were a very common topic in all kinds of settings during our time together as EMTM. It seems at some point, we all faced the feeling of being a complete stranger to those who we loved so much and we had different tactics of dealing with it. Some continued to shower unresponsive old friends with updates from their new life, some (like me) eventually realised it's a waste of time and a horribly hurtful when all your efforts go ignored, some were extremely bothered, some easily moved on. But we all agreed: people who have never gone through something at least similar to EMTM, even Erasmus exchange will do (although EMTM is about tripple the stress and shock), have no way of sympathising with our position and that's why they seem to not care. Their life goes on as it always has, nothing ever changing dramatically and it is impossible to understand what a transformation living abroad (three times!) is. The people and stories I wanted to share were about as real as Harry Potter to them and they had no interest of listening to something so distant and incomprehensible to the way of life they are used to. As depressing as this whole post might be, there is a positive point I'm trying to make. In the end, I have come to realize that the situation is actually a trade-off. People come and go during your life; as one chapter ends a new one begins – this happens no matter what you do, only thing we can control is our attitude about it. EMTM is a life-changing experience. When you join a community of highly independent, motivated, intelligent people, it consumes you and changes your values. It is not that my old friends have changed – I have. They will always be my friends, but I am richer for an experience they will never be able to comprehend and it's okay – there are new people in my life now who do.
10 Comments
Violet
11/2/2015 04:05:43 am
Amazing post !! I personally agree with all the expressions used to try to put into words how weird you feel when "you go back home"... It should not be depressing, it is part of life, part of growing and maturing. We wll survive, once more ;)
Reply
Tjasa
11/2/2015 04:33:17 am
Thanks Viole!!! <3 I guess I was even more affected by this change in attitudes because we used to be SO close, it was very difficult for me to adjust to this new way of (non) communication. Anyway, it gets much easier when you think about all the amazing experiences we have been through with EMTM and that they would have never happened if I had not left, while my friends are still there whenever I go to Slovenia - it's like having 2 lives, one when at home and one on the road! :D
Reply
taranna
11/5/2015 11:05:31 am
I sign under every word! Its incredible how many changes can be done to one person in just 2 years! the best experience to learn not only about other people cultures and countries but also learn about yourself!
Reply
Sil
11/5/2015 11:32:18 am
Exactly Taranna! It's an incredible experience for yourself too. It's especially in these confronting situations, such as traveling or studying abroad, that you learn things about you as a person and what your values mean compared to others.
Reply
Marina
11/5/2015 03:06:39 pm
I totally agree with the post) and we talked about it before. Travelling in general gives us so much more experience than we could have achieved in decades if we stayed at home) I'm terified to finish this master, it feels like out of this highspeed turning bubble of events and meetings, new people and environments, the life is so slow...
Reply
Tjasa
11/12/2015 03:21:21 pm
Ahahaha, thanks darling!! Maybe a new Eat pray love - erasmus mundus version? 😄
Reply
Brandy
11/8/2015 11:58:46 am
This is what i feel as well! In my case I experienced this while studying in Australia before, but EMTM is much more of an intense experience! (in a good way). I haven't been home since the beginning of the programme. But it will be interesting to see ;) a bit scary though.
Reply
Tjasa
11/12/2015 03:17:06 pm
Sweety, all my drunken and not drunken promises stand! 😄
Reply
Vladi
11/12/2015 01:32:17 am
I have goose bumps! It is so well written and described =)
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
January 2017
Categories
|