Not even 2 months left together. Generation 2014-16 is now getting quite emotional as everyone will be leaving soon to different part of the world for their thesis. It is the time that every second counts, every group hug is worth more than before. Brandy, our sweet Vietnamese friend, shared her EMTM experience from the very beginning in Denmark, how life cannot be expected, till now where we are so closed to each other and how EMTM has changed her life forever... .......Before leaving for Denmark to start our first semester, I didn’t know what to expect. It’s like having cold feet before knowing that your dream is coming true. The dream that you have waited for so long to realize, and at that moment you start asking yourself “Am I ready for this?” I have always thought I am quite socially awkward, and the fact that there would be so many of us from all over the world frightened me a bit. We had created a facebook page EMTM 2014-2016 before, and by some initial stalking I could know these 32 people with awesome stories, diverse backgrounds and amazing profiles. Yes I had some intercultural experience, but being together with 32 people for 2 years is really something different. “What if I cannot fit in?” “What if I am not good enough?” “What if I am not cool enough?” “What if…” Of course, life never waits until you are ready. EMTM happened like a collision, instantaneously and in all dimensions of extremity.. “Will I shake hands, should I hug or should I go for the kiss on the cheeks, which is very different from Vietnam and Australia? “Can I talk and chew food at the same time?” “Can I ask about their age?” “What are the topics that I should NOT talk about?” “Is my sense of humour quite weird?”. But then again, when all I did was think, think, think, life would get me to do, do, do. And life will also tell you that when you throw yourself out there, with all true colors and sincerity that you have, most of the time things will turn out amazing. Little by little, I got to know how open-minded and respectful they are. I got to know that people won’t judge you on your background or where you are from, or what mistakes you made in the past. I realized that I don’t have to fit in. I realized that I don’t have to try to meet someone else’s expectations. I realized that it is not me and Eh’s Asian spices that annoys Massimo, but rather overcooked pasta. It is ok to be different. It is ok to have different opinions on things. It is ok to be weird. In fact, it is GREAT that you can be yourself. Because EMTM means embracing your identity.
Before EMTM, I never considered myself good at public speaking. I always feel like I cannot express myself fully. To make it worse, I tend to make awkward jokes when I am nervous. Until one day Vladi told me that she liked my jokes during my presentation (I think that’s how we became friends). Until one day Statia told me I seem to be really calm and confident when I present. I learned that people will not look for flaws and weaknesses in others. We are all here to learn, to grow, and to be better selves. EMTM sees the good sides within you. EMTM means many of my first times. First time hitchhiking, first time couch surfing, first time staying overnight studying in the library (a.k.a karaoke nights – the stage is your own. Auditorium is never locked and you can play with screens and sound system. You are welcome, next generation!), first time going-camping-in-October-and-ending-up-knocking-on-people’s-door-asking-for-a-place-to-sleep-in-because-it-was-raining-crazily… I managed to get over my acrophobia going hiking with the help of my awesome roadtrip companions. Thanks to them, now I am not afraid when I see those big mountains again. Before EMTM, I have always been afraid of getting too close to somebody. I don’t like small talks; I don’t like too much exposure, just because I hate it whenever people come into then have to leave your life again. In my doubtful time in Denmark, Viktor told me “We are normally afraid to get too emotionally attached to somebody. But if we keep being afraid, if we keep building these walls around us, we are not really living our life”. It hit me hard that what have been keeping me back were my fear of getting hurt, my insecurities. Thanks to a message coming right in time, I decided to get rid of the walls, to embrace my vulnerability, to treasure these friendships in my life. I started to show that I love and care more ( A few were shocked at my outward expression, but most of the time it works.) Since then, I’ve got to see more different, emotional sides of EMTMers. I’ve got to learn their insecurities, their dreams and what motivates them. I fell in love with each and every one of them. Before EMTM, I had always lived in the past, and worried about the future. I held on to memories and I found it difficult to move on. During EMTM, I have learned from Eh happiness is a choice, and the most important thing is to enjoy the moment. It is difficult to change, but all depends on our attitude. On days like these, the very last days of our last semester together, when so many things are happening at the same time and many “challenges” for our members, it’s when I see EMTM at its best. I see so much love, so much care and understanding. I enjoy every group hug, every room dance, every Friday night together, every “La bamba”, every sunset and every “I love you”. On days like these, “next semester”, “master thesis”, “graduation” and “goodbye” are the sensitive words that can create serial emotional breakdown (maybe me and Bojana will start first). But I promise to myself that I will enjoy every dimension of emotions as parts of life. And I will try to look at the bright side, when we have EMTM reunions with kids and our extended families. Ioana and I were already talking about how I will arrange my kids’ marriage so all of us can be EMTM in-laws (“Matt, remember my friend from EMTM that I told you about who has a daughter around your age?”). The journey has been amazing. Life is going to be difficult without you all. But now you know wherever you are in this world, you will always have another family to welcome you home. I love you. Brandy
9 Comments
Violet
11/16/2015 08:45:52 am
I just cried so much with this.. so beautifully written! A personal THANKS (again) for hosting me at your house that week, i think we also grew closer there... i´m so happy for that chance :)
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Brandy
11/16/2015 01:51:42 pm
You are also always welcomed to my house in Vietnam babe!! I am thankful for that too, that i got closer to you this semester. Love and hugs and kisses <3
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Lining
11/16/2015 11:05:16 am
" I have always thought I am quite socially awkward, " Serirously,Brandy? You are such a cool girl.
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Brandy
11/16/2015 01:52:43 pm
Haha thank you! Now i know i am awkward in a cool way *yay*
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Tjasa
11/16/2015 02:15:02 pm
Sweetie, your quirks and what you call "awkward" (really?!) jokes are what make you sooooo special and irreplaceable to us!!! Never change them, no matter what (most probably irrelevant) people tell you! This was such an amazing read, I couldn't agree more, especially the last bits made my totally melt ... EMTM never ends!
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Brandy
12/1/2015 01:51:14 pm
I love you my favourite Slovenian <3 :* :* :* cant wait for your wedding hehe
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Janelby
12/2/2015 02:10:53 pm
Thank you for such an honest and heart warming letter, Brandy! It is so amazing to see how much you guys all love each other, and how much it reminds me of our generation's connection. We are just finishing our first semester and are already so close... I can't help but think about how much closer we will all get, how much we will all personally grow, how much more knowledge we will all have...after reading this entry! what an honor and joy to know how special EMTM is, and to be a part of it! I love you already, and wish you all the best with your future endeavors. I hope to meet you all one day soon!!!!
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Marina
12/22/2015 01:46:55 pm
Love it.
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